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Monthly Musings-November 2007
What does a bishop do….
…celebrates All Saint’s Day. This time of recuperating and rehabilitating has given me lots of time to think, to remember, and to offer praise for all the saints both living and deceased that God has used to guide me on the adventure of learning to trust and believe.
…reads and reads some more. I mentioned last month that it took about two weeks post-op to move through the cloud of anesthesia and pain meds. Once the cloud lifted I found my mind able to concentrate and return to one of my passions of reading. My hour to two hours a day on the treadmill provided a wonderful opportunity to get caught up my some magazines and several books. A sample of my reading the past four weeks:
Simple Church, Thom Rainer and Eric Geiger. Assessing vital congregations where adults are maturing as Christ-followers, the authors encourage church leaders to move from creating programs to leading a process that is built around four concepts: Clarity, Movement, Alignment, and Focus. They promote connecting people with God through worship, then connect people with each other around faith-forming small groups, and then assess spiritual gifts and passion and unleash them in service to the world.
God & Empire: Jesus Against Rome, Then and Now, John Dominic Crossan. This is Crossan’s survey of Genesis through Revelations with excellent explanations of life in first-century Rome and the contrast between the peace and justice that comes through military force and violence and the peace and justice Jesus brings, not through violence but through fair and equal treatment of all people.
A Passionate Life, Mike Breen and Walt Kallestad. Using the symbols of the LifeShapes program that Michael Breen developed, readers are invited to shift from being road weary, comfort seeking, and maintenance-minded members of a church to being passionate followers of Jesus who have been gifted and called to be a witness that daily radiates God’s amazing love for all people offered through Jesus.
What the Best CEO’s Know: 7 Exceptional Leaders and their Lessons for Transforming any Business, Jeffrey A. Krames. Most of the leaders featured in this book recognized massive changes that were reshaping their industries and affecting their companies’ future. Each leader led a company that was a market leader and/or outperformed its peers. Each of the leaders’ strategies stood the test of time. Each contributed to the body of management knowledge that other leaders have used. Though our motivation in our work of the church is different than the business world, there are plenty of crossover leadership principles I found helpful.
Succeed on Your Own Terms: Lessons from Top Achievers Around the World On Developing Your Unique Potential, Herb Greenberg and Patrick Sweeney. Through interviewing men and women from across the world the authors identify 19 defining qualities that have allowed them to celebrate and achieve their unique potential in a cross-section of professions. The last part of the book allows the reader to ask some very serious questions about who you are, what you believe in, and where you’d like to go.
The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid, Bill Bryson. My youngest sister, Leigh, left this book for me to read believing laughter is the best medicine. She shared that as she was flying to the States from the Philippines she found herself constantly laughing aloud as Bryson recounts his early years (1951-1964) growing up in Des Moines, Iowa, the son of two writers at the Des Moines Register. I, too, found myself laughing very carefully as I hugged my heart pillow through this wonderful journey filled with nostalgia.
…begins rehab. I have 12 weeks ahead me going three times a week, where the treadmill, the exercise cycle, and free weights will become my best friends. I am also trying to be diligent in 30-45 minutes of cardio exercise 6 days a week.
…gives thanks. Thanksgiving as an adult has become my favorite holiday, because of the focus on gratitude and the lack of commercialization. Barb and I were blessed to have Craig and Meghan home from college and other family gathering throughout the four days. We worshiped together as a family both on Thanksgiving Eve and Sunday morning.
…begins to drive again. I felt like a teenager just getting one’s license. After six weeks of being chauffeured around and having to sit in the back seat for fear of air bags being deployed and messing up my sternum’s healing, I was ready to be set free. Makes me think of the gift of independence and how challenging it is for those who must relinquish their ability to drive and the dependency issues that follow.
…appreciates the staff of this synod. In the past 24 months many of the staff have experienced the trauma of a bishop being asked to resign and now a bishop out of commission due heart surgery. Amazingly they have stepped up both times to seek to continue the work and partnership of this office. I hope the leaders in this synod will take time to acknowledge the extra effort without complaint our synod team has put forth.
…begins the adventure of re-entry. I am returning to the office part-time with my doctor’s permission. Currently working 4-5 hrs a day with the hope of returning full-time the beginning of January. My first attempt at traveling will be to celebrate the dedication of the new facilities at Christ the Servant, Henderson, NV, the third weekend in December. I grew-up with David and Diane Drach-Meinel at Calvary Lutheran Church, Tucson. Diane and I were in the same Confirmation class and David I labored through Greek at the University of Arizona and were roommates for a season during college. Given that I cannot lift anything over 10lbs until Christmas, Barb has graciously agreed to join me and be responsible for the luggage.
…reflects on entering Advent and anticipating Christmas. I share words from Gerhard Frost, “One of the most difficult of life’s assignments is to wait. We all know that it is easier to work than to wait. Times do come, however, when all we can do is to hold still and wait. Only a mature person can handle this.”
Thank you Grand Canyon Synod for helping me to wait and experience the beauty of God’s great compassion by the way you have held my household, this synod, and me in your prayers. My prayer is that the Lord has and will use this experience to bring a little maturity to me along with the humility that this season of waiting has taught me.
Blessings to you all in this season of waiting, watching and anticipating.
In Christ’s Love, Steve
Monthly Musings for October 2007 Bishop Steven Talmage recently had quadruple bypass surgery. We are keeping him in prayer for his recovery. He wrote the following message after making a good beginning to his recovery. What’s a Bishop do…?
…learns to accept one’s mortality. Since the discovery of my blocked arteries on September 30, my plans and schedule were thrown out the window. My self-perspective of being a very healthy person with a lifespan expected for another 40-45 years, outside of an accident or unknown disease, was radically reoriented. Hearing the words you have advanced coronary artery disease shocks one to realize this body God has blessed us with is finite, is mortal, and is imperfect.
…learns to trust God and others. Like many I am not a big fan of being out of control of my environment or circumstances. I wrestle with God like the best of us. Learning to surrender and submit is a daily battle. Anyone who has found himself being told to strip and put on one of those fashionable hospital gowns and lay quietly in a high-tech hospital bed knows what it is like to begin to surrender to both God and others. Receiving the parade of medical staff who wanted to poke, probe, listen, question, and look at me taught me that God was surrounding me with a team to address what I could not manage on my own. I realize I had a choice. I did not have to have the surgery and I could simply take the chance of suffering a heart attack, damage my heart and even die, or I could do as recommended. I surrendered. Being wheeled off to the operating room, I had no fear of dying. I am firm believer in the promise of my baptism. I have been marked by the cross of Christ forever and sealed by the promise of the Holy Spirit. I trust implicitly in the promise of Romans 8 that there is nothing in all creation, not even death that can separate us from God’s love, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. My deepest concern was about the reality of having my chest cracked open, but once I received the gift of anesthesia, that concern drifted far away.
…learns to move from helplessness to hopefulness. The first thing I remember following the surgery was my hearing being restored. It was like someone flipped a switch and I could hear a roomful of voices. My immediate reaction was to want to open my eyes, open my mouth and even raise my arms, but the after effects of anesthesia and having a vent tube down my throat left me paralyzed and mute. That is a horrible feeling! Slowly I began to raise my left hand and do some finger-spelling/sign language to Barb to begin to communicate my return to consciousness. Gradually my eyes opened and focused, the vent tube was removed and I began to reorient myself to the loving faces around me. I have shared with many that one of my favorite authors is Eugene Peterson and in one of his books he made the comment, “Isn’t it amazing that most nights we can go to bed and be unconscious for seven to nine hours, and the earth still circles the sun and rotates on its axis without any help from anyone of us?” I don’t like being helpless, but my faith rests in the one who is never helpless and often does just fine without my help. This may be a stretch but going into surgery is like going into death and awakening afterward is like the resurrection. The old diseased part of me has been replaced, and has been made new and healthy.
…learns to receive pastoral care rather than simply give it. Outside of when I was 14 years old and had surgery on one of my little toes, I had never been a patient in a hospital. Like most rostered leaders I have had plenty of experience being next to the hospital bed, sitting in the waiting room, and offering wonderful words of comfort, hope and healing. It is humbling to be on the receiving end. On the eve before my surgery Roger and Cheryl Thompson (Grace, Phoenix) offered prayers with my family. Later Walt Kallestad (Community of Joy, Phoenix) came and read from Psalm 91 as well as offered prayers. Both Roger and Walt are walking reminders there is life, good life, after stents and by-pass surgery. Presiding Bishop Mark Hanson and other bishops across this church have called offering prayers for my family, this synod, and me. Pastor Al Cassel (Peace, Peoria) brought me the sacrament of Holy Communion on the two Sundays I was in the hospital. I have a basket in my family room over-flowing with cards expressing prayers, love, and well wishes from across this country, and particularly within this synod. I am really humbled by the weekly prayers in congregations across this synod and I hope that as I heal we will continue to keep prayer central to our life together.
…learns to be grateful. When Barb and I were driving over for my heart catherization/angiogram on September 30, I told her, “I really am trying to be grateful that Dr. Lin is concerned and has pushed me to get this done, so we can know if there is anything seriously wrong with my heart. But I need to tell you if this procedure shows I have blocked arteries and need by-pass surgery I am going to be really angry and shocked!” I have been healthy my whole life. I don’t fit the profile or have a history. But I am going to try to be grateful.” As I have learned, one-third of those who suffer their first heart attack don’t live to tell about it. When Dr. Lin, my cardiologist, pushed to get this test done sooner rather than later, I was a little put out. I had a lot on my calendar. I was scheduled to leave for the Conference of Bishops the next week. Needless to say, I think both Dr. Lin and I were shocked at what he discovered and once I began to accept what the images could not deny, I have tried to be thankful for the early catch. I have personally thanked my family doctor for sending me to the cardiologist immediately after my acid reflux episode earlier in September. I have thanked my cardiologist for pushing me to not wait. I have thanked my surgeon for his gift and let him know that thousands were praying for him and thanking God for his gift as a healer. I am appreciative to the nurses who put up with me. I also am thankful for Cathy McAllister’s spouse Dennis, a leading pharmacist in the Valley, who has helped Barb and me understand the medications I’m taking, as well as Jim Morales, a parishioner at Peace, who is the pharmacist at my neighborhood Walgreens. Kathy Anderson, a friend and parish nurse checked on me daily following my release from the hospital and it was her strong words of encouragement that led me back to the ER and my second visit to Arrowhead. I am grateful for the respect of boundaries. I have not been overwhelmed by visitors, allowing me to save my energy for recovery. I have spoken with some of the synod staff and they seem to do fine without me. I’m thinking maybe the position of bishop could become a part-time call. I know most of the synod staff has learned to simply go with the flow given the interesting dynamics pertaining to the bishop’s office the past two years. Please continue to pray for our staff, thank them for their extra effort, and be patient as we get back to full speed. I am also appreciative of my family. My extended family has been present in a variety of ways. I am fortunate that most of my immediate family lives in Phoenix, Tucson, and now Flagstaff. My mom assisted early following my first trip home from the hospital. My youngest sister came in from the Philippines and gave two days to just sit with me. My sister-in-law gave a week of her new retirement time to sit with me, help around the house, so Barb did not have to use all of her sick days. My heart pillow has wonderful notes of love and encouragement from my family. Craig and Meghan arranged their schedules to just be able to hang with Dad. Barb has been a real trooper keeping the community informed, juggling her two teaching positions, and caring for me. My love and appreciation for her has only grown deeper. I cannot imagine facing this without the gift of family and community. As we have learned again through observing the recent wildfires in Southern California, the best in us as humans often gets demonstrated in the face of a crisis.
…learns to pray again. Some of us might recall the anti-drug commercial stating this is your brain and this is your brain on drugs. As I write this now twenty days post-surgery, I can begin to feel clarity and focus. The first two weeks of this adventure I would not recommend for anyone, but thank God for pain medicine. Following my release from the hospital last week, things have only gotten better. I am off of my pain meds. I am walking up to two miles a day. My vitals are outstanding. But the best part is that my mind is clearing up from the fog of just having to fight the pain and push myself each day. I am amazed at the transformation from what was to what is. But this morning was the first morning I found that I could once again capture some intimate time with God and not feel like I was battling attention deficit disorder. Thankfully while I have been struggling to pray, the gift of the community has surrounded me with prayers.
I don’t know what my timeline for returning to the office will be. I get to drive again in about ten days. I have follow-up appointments with the pulmonologist and cardiologist next week. My goal is that by six weeks, I can begin to tele-commute and by the beginning of December begin to return to the office at least part-time. Most of my advisors, including many in the “zipper club” (by-pass recipients) have urged me not to rush back into the stress, but really take the time for my body to be healed. The mending of my sternum takes 8-12 weeks. I cannot lift anything over ten pounds before that healing is complete. Thankfully, I have limited discomfort as that healing has begun. My ultimate goal is to be back as close to 100% as possible by the first of the year.
I want to close with a reading my daughter Meghan brought home from a bible study at our campus ministry at NAU. I don’t know the author.
“The journey of the human spirit has tiring searches, long stretches of grief and letting go, dark-hearted things that steal the energy from our spirits. At these times we need lean-tos. Our lean-tos can be anyone or anything that brings us a sense of hope, a pause from pain, a bit of strength to sustain us, a little vision for guidance, a touch of happiness.
We have a wonderful lean-to in God whose heart always welcomes us and provides refuge for us. We often have people who stand by us and offer warmth, support and refuge. Little comforts and glimmers of hope that we do not notice when we are strong become very significant for us when we are weak: a smile, a song, a sunrise, a bird’s chirp, a phone call or a letter. In all these we rest our woes and our weariness and draw strength for our recovery.”
Thanks for being one my lean-tos, Steve |
